*ADULT READERS ONLY!

6.

 Celibacy -v- Masturbation -v- Promiscuity

By nature, we women are emotional beings.

By divine design, everything that is of us is an emotional, miraculous and spiritual experience. We bring life into the world. The human lives that populate this world are created and nurtured inside of a woman before it becomes of this world.

With that being so, sex is something that is indeed an emotional experience for all women. It can control our emotions, and our emotions can control us.

When we are young, and pubescent-learning our bodies and trying to figure out why we feel the ways that we do-“promiscuity” is almost a part of what comes with that time in life. As a girl/woman after we’ve had our period, “Mother Nature” does something to our bodies that often times-our minds (at that time) are light years away from catching up with. At that time, we all become moody, confused, and emotional-every relationship we have during those stages is such an “emotional” thing-our minds cannot make sense of it all, so we expressed it with our bodies through sex, and making out-in the name of what we felt was “love” (for closeness). 

Promiscuity isn’t always associated with sex (only). “Promiscuity” is miscellaneous, assorted, mixed, and varying in kind. 

During our pubescent stages, even if actual intercourse wasn’t involved, the healthiest and thriving of us all were “promiscuous” (to varying degrees).

All teenagers are, was and always will be “promiscuous” (to varying degrees), because Mother Nature designed all of our bodies in such ways that it was only natural to kiss, neck, hug, pet, rub, hold hands, and make out all kinds of ways at that stage of life. That’s how we learned about our bodies and the sensations certain things would bring to it.

As we grow older, Mother Nature set us up so that that our bodies eventually have a meeting with our minds. Promiscuity, then, is more of a conscious decision versus [as a pubescent] it being just a “natural part of growing up.”

Consciously being promiscuous is something that you do out of lust, or simply enjoying the pleasure that sex brings you.

But as single women out here playing in the game and name of love, at some point while “shaking whatcha’ Mama gave ya,” you have to learn to “shake what your Mother gave you” (too): The ability to control your promiscuous body with your mind…

SIDEBAR MENTION:

In this chapter, I do not get into diagnosing, discussing (in detail), or excusing possible sex addiction and the like, nor do I discuss psychological, sex/health, moral, or religious exceptions regarding promiscuity, celibacy, or masturbation. I keep it “general” and “typical,” not atypical (or exceptional).

Having said that, as a woman, a meeting of your mind and body, at some point in this game of love, is something you will have to come to a median on-a point where you are going to have to decide just how much of your body you are willing to gamble with…

Whether or not you naturally began to explore your body at a young age, preteen, or during your teen years, the time to do so is definitely when you are a single woman.

When you explore your own body, you have so many advantages in sexual relations, as compared to the woman who does not explore her own body. (By exploring your own body I mean: “masturbating.”)

TELEPATHIC MENTION:

I have two words for the single woman who would dare say that masturbating makes her feel lonely and like a loser: Grow. Up! Nothing should make a woman feel more like a “loser” than to lose herself in the vicious cycle of giving away her body in the name of lust, love, or finding love. But more than that, putting it in the hands of a man to bring her the only sexual pleasure she knows. That’s your vagina-not his. When he’s done with it-it’s going back home with you-not him. To be “lonely” is to feel a [perceived] need that cannot be fulfilled by oneself-but rather: someone else…(that’s what “lonely” is). Masturbation is far from what it means to be “lonely,” it is liberation of the most feminine kind, powerfully so...

 As a woman, you must learn to get friendly with your clit.

You can make use of it alone and as well, in the heat of the moment with your special male friend. Granted, we all like a good pound, knock-down, drag and throw-down; but you would be surprised at the same pleasure you can have with a man’s penis as your masturbation “toy.” But before you can even use his penis as your “toy,” you have to (first) enjoy your clitoris (with your own fingers, or with your own store bought “toy”). If you can’t do that, then using his penis as your toy is something you may not enjoy.

There are several toys (and positions) available to you for masturbating and getting to know your own body. I won’t bother explaining in too much explicit detail in this book because I wrote another book about intimacy called “Doing It: Mind Blowing Sex Tips You Will Never Forget (The Fine Art of Intimate Sex)" There, I provide extensive and explicit details for the women who are into both vaginal and clitoral stimulation, and I mention several superb masturbation techniques for both preferences. As well, I have an entire chapter dedicated to kinky sexual fun using various types of protection. However, as mentioned a few paragraphs back, that is not my focus in this chapter.

My point for talking about Celibacy and Masturbation in this book (and chapter) is to explain how use of it is an awesome remedy for recognizing when your body is sending signals to you-to put it down in ways that (if you knew how to masturbate) could save (the single woman) a world of unnecessary emotional trauma (and sometimes physical) trouble that often times come along with sex in the name of love/finding love…

There are several miscellaneous things (and advantages) you should know about Masturbating:

Masturbating is (first) mental. The pleasure that you bring to your body has to start in the mind (all by yourself)…you have no “help.” For any woman who solely relies on a male to bring her pleasure, masturbating is time-consuming, frustrating and annoying. But it’s like building a muscle: when you keep doing it-it gets stronger.

Women who masturbate make better lovers because explosive sex is all about imagination. Masturbating is strictly imagination. What has gone on in your mind (while alone-masturbating) can too, be brought to life and to your man’s body (and mind). It’s a different feel than “reciprocated” sex. When a woman masturbates, she is subconsciously (or consciously) in search of that orgasm that she is capable of bringing to herself. With that being said, she delivers sex to her man and makes him have sex with her in a different way than a woman who only knows how to get this kind of pleasure from a man.

Masturbation is pleasurable and sexy alone, and too, with your partner. If you are not one for masturbating but wish to try getting into it (to work your way up to feeling like a winner), masturbate while having phone sex with your man sometimes. If clitoral stimulation makes you cum faster but your fingers begin to bore you, you’ll just have to grab a copy of my sexual intimacy book: “Doing It! Mind-Blowing Sex Tips You Will Never Forget (The Fine Art of Intimate Sex)” to get “un” bored. There, is where I teach you different ways to bring yourself to climax with your fingers, and vibrating toys. As well, if you prefer vaginal stimulation, I teach you how to masturbate with the proper toys (and positions) to bring you explosive vaginal orgasms. If you like both clitoral and vaginal stimulation, I teach you how to use your toys, vibrating toys and your fingers to bring you an explosive vaginal and clitoral simultaneously.

Although it does not decrease your sexual desire any less than a woman who does not masturbate, it could (for a short time), depending on when you do it, (like: right before that hot date you’ve been anticipating, where you want to extra-sure that you won’t even allow yourself to get caught up into any compromising positions). For that first date, if you have made up your mind that you will do that traditional church hug + kiss on the cheek, then by all means-masturbate before that date. That is an area where women who do not masturbate at all, get themselves caught up into the most trouble: leaving it up to chance as to whether or not getting caught in that compromising position that lead to sex is or was the deal-breaker (or maker).

Different women like different things during that heat of the moment with their man-some women are sexually aroused by giving a man head as foreplay before play, and/or getting head before play. However you play before sex, do not masturbate (before sex). Instead, go heavy on the foreplay by having him masturbate you with his penis, you masturbate yourself with his penis, masturbate yourself with your own fingers, or masturbate yourself with his fingers during however and wherever you choose the pleasure his body. I specifically suggested not having masturbated before heavy foreplay because if it is your intent to not have sex, and you didn’t masturbate already-chances are, you will go heavy on the foreplay as suggested, which will bring you to an explosive orgasm (while giving your man pleasure as well).

Fighting the urge to insert his penis inside of you is the fun in this-it’s intense sexual “angst”-done best by having him lean against a counter, sink, or hard wall surface with you standing over his penis and in front of him (so as to give you the most control). Resisting the urge to insert him will force you to take all of your angst and frustration out on him with your mouth to his neck and body-while you work as fast as you can to make yourself cum with your fingers, his fingers, and/or the tip of his penis stroking your clitoris-every which way this feels best to you.

For the less uninhibited (and better suited for you and your King)…another good intense game of sexual angst (if you wish to give him more control) is for you to lie down at the edge of the bed and open your legs for him-enough that he can rest his knees against the edge of the bed (for balance) while the two of you masturbate your clitoris, as he watches you do it too. This position is a better turn-on for him if you are completely unclothed so that he can see not only your exposed vagina, but also your: skin, shoulders, breasts, and tummy while he masturbates your clitoris with his penis (and watch you grab hold of it to do it as well). The entire position is a very vulnerable one, because of course-there will have to be some light so that he could watch and observe the pleasure you’re getting from it all (and you-him). The fun in this is both of you resisting and trying hard not to have intercourse (as well as his watching your nipples get hard and erect while your clitoris “blossoms” and swells until you both climax).Obviously, either way, with you in the control/standing position, or you allowing him to be in the control position (kneeled at the edge of the bed/you lying down), exploring one another’s entire body by having oral sex is fair game (and up to you). In this chapter I do not discuss details of how to give and receive explosive oral sex however, in my sexual intimacy book: “Doing It! Mind-Blowing Sex Tips You Will Never Forget (The Fine Art of Intimate Sex)” I am very generous with the details. I dedicate pages 45-61 to the various ways a woman can be pleasured during oral sex, and pages 62-84 to the various ways a man can be pleasured during oral sex, (so you will have to get the explicit details there). 

At any rate.

The fun in these techniques is all that you can do, and the pleasure it can bring the both of you without having actual intercourse. Both of you will feel how intense as actual intercourse this play can be. And if done right, it’s even more intense (because there is a lot of sexual angst involved in knowing that alls you both have to do is take this job and shove it!). It’s a tormenting mind and body game but extremely pleasurable, and well...if the angst wins and you guys took that job and shoved it…just wipe yourselves off and try again-there’s always tomorrow. J

Furthermore (as I could only assume that these techniques are being done with someone you are committed to J), this gives you a chance for your man to take time out to watch your body getting aroused while exploring it and especially erotic and pleasurable to watch your exposed vagina getting aroused as well.  

You would be surprised at how many men are out here having sex that have put their mouths on, and fingers and penises in many-a-vagina that, aside from a porn flick, have never even looked at a vagina with the light on, and up close.

Obviously, if you are sexing with some random casual dude (if that is your thing), you probably wouldn’t want to do these things with him. It’s a bit much for that kind of play. Some masturbation play is best suited for you and your King…

For you, this is your test of his level of comfort with intimacy, as well as his comfort and willingness to try and share a different level of intimacy (with you).

You would be surprised at how many committed or married couples spend years just “fucking,” or “making love.” As a woman, part of our duty in being a woman is to know that men have to be taught sensuality and intimacy.

Sure, men have promiscuous sex during seeking to exhale, but part of that reason is because they have not met (or committed to) the right woman yet, who could teach them the value and vulnerability of sensual and intimate sex (that too, can be done with his body as well)...

It slows them down…

It’s a “mind fuck” of sorts. And as well, it shocks the body. 

Just like our relationship outside of the bedroom often times will need a tune-up, every now and again, we have to slow down and take a break from the monotony in our private moments, and really get private with one another.  

This kind of intimacy with one another is the willingness to be vulnerable and unusual with one another in order to bring pleasure to one another (which too, is what “Doing It! Mind-Blowing Sex Tips You Will Never Forget (The Fine Art of Intimate Sex)” is about).

In that book, I go into the feminine/masculine mental -vs- instinctual play behind “play,” (which is what I will go into detail about in this book's chapter tip Gem # 18 “Men & Sex: ‘The Bi-sexual Man,’ Missionary, Oral Sex, Doggy-Style, Anal-Sex (Man-Woman vs Man-Man), Agressive Sex & The Male Mentality”...as we talk about how to “deal” with men and sex…what’s really going on behind the kind of sex we are having with them when he is not our King and we: his Queen, and what it does for and against [us women].    

These few things however, were just a few tips on awesome masturbation play for you and your man that, chances are, he’s probably never tried, because as you can see, sex and sexual intimacy are two different things.

Sexual intimacy is much more than taking back shots, screaming, and flopping around like a fish out of water.There are countless things to do during “sex” without actually having intercourse. You just have to have a good imagination, use it, and be willingly to be open to what brings you pleasure-uninhibitedly.    

SOCIAL STIGMATA: THE EMOTIONAL, MENTAL, & PHYSICAL RAMIFICATIONS & RESPONSIBILITIES FOR THE WOMAN INDULGING IN A “HEALTHY” SEXUAL LIFESTYLE 

As previously mentioned at the beginning of this chapter tip: In this chapter, I do not get into diagnosing, discussing (in detail), or excusing possible sex addiction and the like, nor do I discuss psychological, sex/health, moral, or religious exceptions regarding promiscuity, celibacy, or masturbation. I keep it “general” and “typical,” not atypical (or exceptional).

Clinically speaking, when whatever you are enjoying (sexually) gets to a point where it interrupts or impairs the quality of life (for yourself and/or others involved), it affects your emotional/mental/physical health, and/or the lives of yourself/others is affected; that is when the term “healthy sex life” slash “promiscuity” can/will be “labeled” a sex addict or get you label for having some type of personality disorder (by diagnosis via a mental health and/or physician).

Socially speaking, in addition to that “label,” the court of public opinion, religion, and society will too, offer their label-simply called: “no morals.” 

I, [for one, as discriminate and eclectic as my tastes are: sexually, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually] try and steer clear of “labeling” women, because we are all so sexually oriented, emotionally, and mentally complex with a wide variety of circumstances and situations that never seem to be so “black and white” as the labels that are quickly slapped upon us. 

With that being said, I am all for a woman doing anything she wishes to do with her life and body as long as she is very clear, truthful, and brutally honest with herself as to why/what the reason is. Doing anything under the guise of…or being in denial is detrimental to you (no matter what it is).

It’s dangerous to be in denial about doing anything that [because it may temporarily provide emotional, mental, financial, or physical comfort] you know (in truth to yourself by way of that voice in your head) it is really depleting you bit-by-bit.

That kind of denial is the main thing that robs a woman of her happiness and steals her joy-because while she knows what is going on (versus what is not going on), typically, she will settle and hang in there with what she knows in her heart is breaking her down; hoping that time, and a miraculous sudden change of a man’s heart will put her back together again. It’s a very common and typical thing, and we women can sit and be stuck like that for years.

Being the emotional creatures that we are, when a woman is in denial of anything (especially with matters of the heart, sex, and love), it is a living…live…walking… breathing…death by emotional suicide (while she “co-exists” in the world). 

For the single woman especially, until she is in a committed relationship where sex, love, and matters of the heart are concerned, she will find that dating will be as constant and as much apart of her life as a job is. Something that constant (and necessary-in order to “thrive”) is such that when you are in denial about anything emotional, it will rob you of your quality of life. When you do that, you waste time-stuck-in the most toxic “relationship” situations without mutual commitment: demonstrative, professed, or proclaimed. 

For the single woman, with something so constant as dating, it is crucial that you are diligently heaven-bent on making sure your happiness and joy is on top, or let it go and keep moving. (If you need a refresher course on how to find out of your love is being put on top…re-read the “Introduction,” Gem #4:“To Thy Self Be True,” and Gem #5 “Femininity -vs- Playing Yourself”).

Having reiterated all that, for a SINGLE WOMAN, the meaning of what a “healthy sex-life” is will always be up for much debate, forever judged by the court of public opinion, religion, and society, but will be adjourned with a decision that will always and forever be left up to the life and eyes of the beholder. All else will be mere opinions.

A woman’s body is her very own body. Whatever she chooses to do with that body is her business. With regard to having a “HEALTHY SEX LIFE,” as long as she is extremely truthful and brutally honest to herself about the kind, (and amount) of sex she is having and why…(“why” meaning she may be having uncommitted or a variety of sex because she truly and simply enjoys it, and not because she is secretly hoping something will become of it, or something that will change, or undo this lifestyle that she chose to indulge in)…then in my personal opinion, that means she has a “healthy” sex life.

THERE IS A FINE LINE BETWEEN HAVING A “HEALTHY” SEX LIFE & AN “UNHEALTHY” SEX LIFE

The Fine Line: Consisitency & Caring about your feminine health.

“Healthy” meaning, all factors involved in having a “HEALTHY SEXUAL LIFESTYLE” are cared for, overseen, in balance, and in check, such as:

• Physical/Sexual Health-Your female/physical health isn’t being neglected such that you’re having so much sex that the word: “speculum” sounds like what could be a new trendy line of belts, and the word: “stirrups” sound more like a pair of pants rather those words being associated with materials that are very necessary in a gynecological exam (that should be done at least every six to eight months for a very sexually active woman).

• Emotional Health-As a result after the amount and/or variety of sex you are having, your whole life isn’t one big panic button and falling apart at the slightest unreturned phone call, which on more than one occasion, is known to send you into an emotional and mental tailspin. You are able to handle the things that certainly come with the territory such as the rejection, or detachment, inconsistency and non-commitment involved in having a “healthy sex life” (or promiscuous lifestyle).

THERE IS A VERY FINE LINE BETWEEN A “HEALTHY SEX LIFE,” & “ADULT SEXUAL PROMISCUITY.”

The Fine Line is one word: Indiscriminate.

A woman can lead a “healthy sex life” (as previously described), but if she is indiscriminate about how, who, where, and why she is having sex; that is what makes her “healthy sexual lifestyle” turn: “promiscuous.”

Women with a “healthy sexual lifestyle” typically have ongoing, consistent, sexual “relationships” that remain “a sex-only relationship” (#3-below)

The clear divide that makes a “healthy sexual lifestyle” turn into a: “promiscuous lifestyle” is when a woman’s ongoing, consistent, sexual lifestyle is “one-night-standish:” impulsively/spontaneously/indiscriminately (which typically, is how and where ongoing/consistent “sexual/sex-only relationships” begin)... 

With regard to promiscuity (and in addition to it being more socially accepted from men) men are typically better equipped and able to cope with promiscuity: mentally, emotionally and physically. All the single man needs is a place-not so much as a reason why (like women do). Because of her emotional nature and the damage she can (and will) do to herself-emotionally-even if she is unconcerned about social stigmas, the single woman definitely needs that reason “why”…(while being clear and true to herself about that question). 

A single woman enjoys/needs/wants and has sex for one, two, or all these reasons:

1. Money
2. Hopes for relationship/commitment to follow
3. Sheer enjoyment (without the strings of money, or hopes of relationship attached)

MEN:

• Most men have sex for reason #3.
• Reason #1 if he is a pimp/gigolo, or while surviving and seeking.
• Reason #2 is simply a function and part of the commitment that a man makes when he has sought, exhaled, and found his Queen.

WOMEN:

• Women who are prostitutes, or in financial straits have sex for reason #1.
• Most women have sex for reason #2.
• Many women have sex under the guise of reason #3, but are in denial and really having sex for reason #2 (while waiting to exhale).  Typically, very liberated women, or career women, or women who are in the habit and routine of running their lives and households without the help or the need of companionship in order to do so, have sex for reason #3.

TEETERING BETWEEN REASON #2 & REASON #3

When a woman is not clear, and/or is in denial about that Reason #2 and that Reason #3 line in the sand, she sinks right into that divided line in the sand-and so begins the greatest living: spiritual, mental and emotional death of woman... 

Usually, women want relationship, so having sex, (typically) has that reason behind it yet, there are some women who are okay with sex and that #3 reason.

As well, it is possible that what really did start of as reason #3, turned into reason #2.

The problem with that is that if the man hasn’t already, or has no plans on Queening a woman, he will keep that woman at #3, when (in her head and heart) she now wants #2. (And to reiterate, by “Queening” you, I mean what is he doing to actively demonstrate his interest or desire in relationship and building “50-50” together…with you? (Not: off of you, not: by way of you, but: with you...his 50 [or 100%] + your 50%. Period).  

As a woman, for protection of your emotional self (and to prevent deceiving yourself and projecting blame onto a man should things not go as planned in your head), you have to be brutally honest with yourself about the difference between reason #2 and reason #3, and how long you are willing to accept being in either reason [#2 or #3].

That is a hot-button reason why when things end or aren’t going as planned/in our heads, we women get angry and blame the man. A man is bred to get what he can get, and do what he can do. He can only get and do what he: can, will (or won’t)-and only if you allow him to.

You cannot know (in your head and heart) that you really more from [a particular] relationship, but (aloud/as expressed to the man involved) claim to be a reason #3 (or act like you are okay with that).

MOVING ON IS LIVING ON

For many women, those two words: “Move on” has theme music to it. It carries the sound of the musical score for the movie “Psycho” behind it-whenever they hear the advice or suggestion [to]: “Move On!”

Often times, you know that is because you are afraid to move on (alone/with yourself), but like what the purpose and practice of celibacy is about: sometimes you have to sanction something you love and think you can’t live without, so you can focus on other things that’ll blossom and be fruitful in your life. You’ve got to pluck the weeds or the flowers won’t grow…

I said, sometimes…you have to sanction something you love and think you cannot live without…so that may can focus on other things that will blossom and be fruitful in your life: You have got to pluck the weed…or the flower will not grow, my Flower J 

Additionally, that fine line between reason #2 and reason #3 is the equivalent of the fine line between having a “healthy sexual lifestyle” -vs- an “unhealthy sexual lifestyle.”

When you are not honest with your self about the difference between the two, that is when you find yourself aimlessly “winging it”-while waiting to exhale, which puts you out of control and on top of your love life; leaving you at the mercy of man after man after man after man (and for a woman, this can go on for years at a time-if she’s not careful). 

Stop accepting: neglect, hurt, inconsistency, pain, rejection, drama, confusion, and denial as being a “normal” part of a single woman’s lifestyle-because it is not. Although this cycle may seem like “a part of life,” it is not. It just begins to seem like a natural part of life because it’s repeated so much; then will become a lifestyle, your “relation-style”: the style in which you present yourself directly or indirectly (to men) that teaches them how to relate and relationship with you... 

There are countless single women out here in the world leading and living healthy fruitful friendships, courtships and relationships with men, and are getting everything their hearts desire without bargaining, compromising, or at the expense of what they insist is non-negotiable: their heads, their hearts, their sanity, their time, their joy, their lives, and their vaginas. And as you read on while I write this book, tells stories, and suggest; you will find that I am one of them (hence why I am able to write this kind of a book). I do not believe anyone should rightfully write a book about how to, or how not to do a thing, without (too) having experienced the things they are suggesting “not do” however, for years, and up to and including at this time in my life, if I have 99 problems my relationship with men ‘aint 1, whereas at one time in my life, that equation was totally flipped. Like any woman, at one time in my life and at my emotional expense, a lot of things were indeed “negotiable” until I got “clear”…clear in how I wanted to [and would/would not accept] relationship…

By experience and up close and personal observation, when I figured out how essential a woman’s emotional life was to everything around her, I got serious about my joy. I insist on my (true) happiness in relationship and found that being honest with myself costs less emotional (and real-time).

I write, suggest, and share (just like every book in the bookshelf and library does), so here goes another one (but from behind the buffers of fantasy, intangibility, fluff and stuff). What you choose to do, what you choose to feel, and how you choose to relationship-is still ultimately up to you.             

WHY THE PRACTICE OF CELIBACY

When you find yourself in a repeated cycle of relations where are that is becoming of it is drama, sex, confusion/lack of clarity, and inconsistency, (and you are not in denial + know this cycle is where you do not wish to be), that is a perfect time for you to consider pulling back from having sex altogether and “regroup” …with the decision to practice 

Celibacy (dictionary definition): Abstention from sexual intercourse. 

We know what sexual intercourse is when we are talking about sex, but when we are talking about the abstinence from sex (celibacy) we often times want “clarification” of what “abstention from sexual intercourse” is J

A lot of people like to play with the meaning and details of what can and can’t be done when practicing celibacy if one is to consider herself “celibate.” The debate whether or not one can still be considered “celibate” if they give or receive have oral sex is and always will be hot-button issue. But if you are clear on the benefits and purpose of celibacy, then it should be very clear. Period.

For a lot of women, celibacy (like masturbation) tends to carry a stigma like the plague- when in actuality, (and most typically) it is given that stigma by women who are actually caught up into that “lifestyle” of “winging it” on the wings of love while waiting to exhale.” 

Opposite that kind of woman, typically: very liberated women, career women, or women who are merely in the habit and routine of running their lives and households without help or the need of companionship in order to function in their lives and run their households-are more apt to practice, or slip into bouts celibacy for long amounts of time.

The purpose of celibacy is to not engage in sharing (genital/sexual) pleasure between yourself and another person-because its benefit and purpose is to allow you the time to make sure (while in the dating game/courting game) you are thinking with your head; able to think clear about the courtship without the anticipation (or “emotional remnants”) of having had sexual intercourse/oral sex/mutual masturbation. Because as a woman, often times, where the opposite sex is concerned, many of our decisions, problems, crisis,’ perceived issues, and matters of the heart, are surrounded by our emotions which (if having sex, oral sex/mutual masturbation) can force us to think, feel, and react in ways that (with the absence of all three), may give us a chance to step back and see if what we feel, or are reacting to is real, or from emotion: because of sex. 

WHEN TO CONSIDER PRACTICING CELIBACY

 A.    When a woman is getting to the point where her choices in relationship and men are leading her into repeated sexual flings, one nights stands, and short term relationships (and she knows she wants more than that-like reason #2) she needs to pull back from having sex so that her mind will take control her body (versus her body controlling her emotions and her life).

As well…

B.    When a woman is getting to the point where her choices in men are leading her into repeated sexual flings, and one nights stands, (even if she knows she wants nothing more than that-like reason #3) she, too, still needs to pull back from having sex so that her mind will take control her body (versus her body controlling her mind).

EXACTLY WHAT IS CELIBACY? (THE TRANSCENDENT DEFINITION)

Celibacy is power.

Celibacy is powerful.

Celibacy is spiritual.

Celibacy is a re-introduction of your mind to your body, and your “self” to yourself.

Above listed, whether you are like A or B, many single women are in dire need of a feminine fine-tuning: Re-introducing their minds to their bodies, themselves to their “self,” and a re-introduction of their “self” to: men, life, living, and the world in general-all over again…with the absence of sexual intercourse, to see what YOU are all about.

Celibacy is just a fast: a sexual spiritual cleansing that is no different a fast than a sustenance fast.

Contrary to the misperception of what people generally think celibacy is only for: (clearing out toxic and unhealthy relationships with men), celibacy is merely a mental discipline that for all intensive purposes, require you to fast on the one thing believed to be a distraction (or source) of power that clouds the mind and thinking: Sex [oral sex, mutual masturbation, and intercourse]. 

Celibacy is a kind of “self-test” to see what (if anything) YOU are really about (outside of your physiological need for sex).

Physiological needs are indeed an essential part of human functioning, but can work against us and/or for us:

We need to eat ßà If we eat too much we gain weight.

We need to sleepßà If we sleep too much we get tired/lazy/lose at life.

We need to have sex ßà If we have too much sex, we lose focus-it affects our emotional, mental, and social lives.                                                                                                                       

SANCTIONING -vs- CONTROL

Money is not a physiological need however it is a need nonetheless. When your money is sanctioned, you perk up and take notice right? It’ll put you into survival and fight or flight mode, and you begin working on designing a plan to make sure that shit right there never happens to you again. (Then can I get an Amen?) 

That’s what a “sanctioning” does…it makes you take notice and be in (better) control of a thing…

Things that make us feel good that add to our physiological needs can make us or break us. Most scandals and other social fiascos all involve sex and/or drugs.

Sex is our human need.

Drugs make people “feel good” (like sex does).

People [try to] sanction their use (and perceived need) for drugs just like a single woman can, and should-sometimes in her life, sanction her [need for sex].

The sanctioning of sex is a special kind of sacrifice in order to gain something for the greater-later. 

We need sleep, but you must be willing to lose some sleep (and a whole plethora of other life “pleasantries”) if you want success in something. 

If you want to focus on other things that could (possibly) bring success to you or to your life, (be it socially, worldly, spiritually, or personally) as a woman: emotional…you sometimes have to practice celibacy in order to put your focus elsewhere, because (as a woman) if you are constantly having sex (and constantly single and/OR constantly not moving onward and upward in your personal life) that is a sign that something has stop and something (else) needs to start. 

Our emotions can affect how we friend, how we work, how we play, how we socialize and how we relate to the world altogether. 

Sanctioning sex (which cloud our emotion and thinking) is (at times) very necessary for the single woman. You have to pull back so that you can differentiate your emotions and sex from what may, or may not be really going on (with, for, because of, and around you). Sanctioning sex can get you “clear” on what you are doing, feeling, and thinking. It helps you put it, and (everything else) in your life into proper perspective (and by priority)… 

Like you control your life, you have to [try and] be in control of your physiological needs (eat, sleep, sex), because if you do not control your physiological needs, they can (and will) control you (emotionally, physically, personally, and socially). 

But.